For the widows in paradise.

As irrational as it sounds I'm pretty sure last night changed my life completely. For once in the longest time in a while, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. I don't even remember the last time that I felt that way. I am sitting here with the hugest grin on my face and just so stoked on life. I'm pretty sure I'm radiating happineness right now. Most likely to do with the fact that I have yet to sleep but whatever. I had an awesome night and sleep is totally for fat people and babies. Like Chris and I decided " Why go to sleep on your own terms when you can wait until your body shuts down and does it for you?" Honestly, I'm pretty sure I haven't had such an epic conversation or laughed that much in months. Everything at Matt's house makes me happy and so inspired to do so much. The people there are so unique and just have so much personality and so much to bring the table. It's unbelievable how they all enjoy each others company so much and legitimatly love living together. It's what I want. Everyone they know has an awesome story to tell and has done things with themselves. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've been around people that have done things for themselves? I'm just so giddy and stoked just thinking about it. That's what I want from life. Drinking tea, having fires, smoking sheesha, have intellectual conversations, reading books, discussing real topics and all the music, live and recorded. I feel like my head is going to explode just trying to take in everything but in a good way. God, is it ever in a good way. I mean honestly, I stayed up from around 3-930 or 10 just nonstop talking to this guy I just met and it wasn't awkward at all and it was so stimulating and intense. Just having so many things to relate to and feeling the ability to share your opinions and gahh. I can't even express how I'm feeling right now. My head is screaming, ajdhfdhkafada! I do not want to go back to Red Deer, I have so much motivation right now that I can get to where I want to be. I can't go back. I can't lead that life anymore. After last nights converstations it was like the hugest wake up call. I lost my inspiration on life. I stopped drawing, painting, writing, discusssing... I stopped what I enjoyed about life and made me who I was. I lost my inspiration, it just clicks now and makes sense. Fuck! I love life right now and I'm worried if I go to sleep I won't have that same feeling when I wake up. I think I'm smitten right now. I feel like a hussy and partly like a bad person but I am smitten and it's so unreal. It's unreal how I can make instant connections with people and just have that mutal understanding. I've been in Calgary for what... a full day and I'm already invited to see Chris play a show and then to another show on Saturday. Thank you Calgary. I don't want to forget anything. There were just so many epic lines and just epic nights. Just like smashing iphones out of hands and then being all sorry sorry sorry and hand bills to them. Or "Shut up and get on your bike bitch". Numbers on dairy queen napkins. So cute. Bah. <3 Love life.