Sea of Love

So it's official. That's a scary thought but also a very exciting one that the same time. Tomorrow when I send the envelope in the mail I'm officially in the program and set leave in approximately 67 days maybe. I had kept count of it before but I really fail at keeping track of numbers and the like.

So what next. I think I should start by stating what I know I'm losing and giving up on. I won't be able to drink basically ever or do anything the will put me under the influence. I will be taking up the prospects of becoming sexually frustrated for 6 months and any chance of getting any sort of action I can just throw out the window. I'm committing myself to being single and not seeing anyone for another 6 months. I am giving up personal space and the ability to be lazy, to sleep in and to be late for work. I know that if I want to cut or dye my hair I won't be able to. I won't be able to go shopping or have any real sort of income to myself. I won't be able to eat what I want, when I want and will have to try new things and adapt. I won't be able to have a cell phone likely or have normal access to a computer. So no Grey's Anatomy. No textsfromlastnight. No facebook or MSN.

But this is what I get. I get 6 months of not having to worry about if I have enough money to pay for my bills or if I am able to make my rent. I get free plane fare and travel expenses. I get to live in Quebec for 3 months. I get to live in Saskatchewan for 3 months. I get free french lessons. I get to see parts the country I wouldn't have thought of on my own. I get to meet new people and live in a house with 10 other people. I get to live life without the fuss and drama of technology. I get to make a difference to people and communities. I get to have 6 months to figure out just me and what I want to do. I won't have to worry about boy drama, with the what's going on or where do we stand. I don't have to worry about being alone because really, I'll never be alone.

So I'm crossing my fingers on this second job. Because right now that's all I care about. This trip is all I care about. I don't care that it's a Saturday night and I'm exhausted and ready for bed. I don't care that plans fall through or that I'm committing myself to 12 hour work days. I'm in this, no half ass. No maybes. I'm in this and I'm gonna make it work because the day I go board my flight I know it will all be worth it.