A month or so I would have given anything for a reason not to leave. I wanted nothing more then for someone to tell me no, to beg me not to leave. Give any of the tiniest unimportant reason and I would have unpacked my figuratively packed bags and settled back down. Now, now I can't even get the thought of leaving out of my mind. It's all I think about. The first thing in the morning, the last thing before bed. It's consuming my every thought and I couldn't be any more happy. There is nothing that is going to stop me from leaving. Not a person or event is going to change my mind and I dare you to try. I used to be scared of leaving but I can't even be anymore. I'm just all consumed in the good. It's an amazing feeling because I've never been this set into anything really before. I'm gonna make this work and make the best out of it. So tell me you miss me and tell me you don't want me to leave but in the end I've already decided. I'm already gone.
On another note I'm not just going to stop acting how I am. I'm gonna give kisses on foreheads and I'm going to cuddle and trace shapes across your skin. I'm gonna think about kissing you and smile at you when you don't pay attention. And overall be all consumed with girly feelings and I'm not going to hide it. I've come to the point where I don't care if you don't show anything back or feel anything back. If you just think of us as just friends then that's enough for me. But I'm gonna be me, and around you that's me. I'd rather be out there and be happy and myself for the last 2 months then hide it away. That's all.
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