battle ground

I got called out tonight. Called out on the fact that my life is slowly heading in a distructive direction. All I could do was agree and ramble out some half witted excuses because the truth is too heavy on a night like tonight. How can you voice the fact that maybe life isn't as smooth as it seems. That there are days where you just want the world to wait. To hit snooze on life and sleep for another five, ten minutes. And then maybe you will be ready to rub the sleep from your eyes and take babysteps forward. I don't know where to start. I don't know what is the most important and which is the least. So I just let things stack up. Piles and mountains. Collecting dust and laying down stress. But I don't know what else to do. It feels like all I can do is tell myself I'll do it later. I'll deal with it later. Hoping by some off chance it will just dissapear or work out on it's own. My room is cluttered and so is my mind. Lists and tasks to cross off and put behind. Maybe is it so hard to say, maybe I'm just, maybe I'm just not that happy? Not anymore.