Fresh

I hate this waiting game. I get bored too easy. My attention span dwindles and dapples from one subject to another. I'm grasping at loose ends trying to find a connection but failing. I don't know where to start or where to end. I want things but I don't know what. Where do I begin? The life I hate is now becoming what I'm craving. Something stable and sustainable. A subject for every hour, every day. A place to be, something to feel accomplished instead of seconds spilling out of glowing screens and impatient minds. The past seems distant but entwined in the present. Like a twisted time warp and I'm stuck somewhere in the middle. How do I put my thoughts to words. I'm not sure but I keep trying. Keep throwing down words like they contain some kind of meaning but keep tiptoeing around what I really want to say. I have things to do. A list to complete but my motivation comes to rest in a place where time seems to stand still. I should have more faith in my future but I can't see through my clouded thoughts. I need the sun to shine in and show me the way, as lame as that sounds. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, well, what am I trying to say?