Jewlery.

The night my great grandma died I could not get to sleep. I tossed and I turned and my mind ran over a thousand things that had nothing to do with anything. I had no idea why it was until I was woken up and told that she was no longer with us.

Last night I could not get to sleep. No matter what I could not get comfortable and my mind was a clustercuss of thoughts. So I guess it makes sense, since Papa died at 1 am this morning and I woke up and found out.

The weird thing is it's almost as if my body knew somehow. It's like my body and my mind knew and was trying to tell me something but I just couldn't understand what it was. And when I think back that's sort of what it was like with Bryan too. I think our minds are connected more then we believe they are. That one knows roughly about when they are going to leave us. And that when they go something goes out and lets us know. Or we just feel that loss instantly.

I don't know what I believe in. I know when Bryan died all I wanted to believe was that there was a Heaven somewhere and that he there looking down at all of us. But since I'm more sensible then that it's hard to let my mind believe in something that has no real fact to it. However, right now I just want to believe that Tama and Papa are back together again. As much as I know that's not true, it's what I want to believe.