Lie, lie.

When it comes down to it, you are not going to like me for who I am. You are going on believing in the person you think I am. First impressions. Wrong impressions. The truth is, I'm always broke. I have nothing to show for the work I do. I live pay cheque to pay cheque with nothing to show in between. I spend my money on momentary happiness with compete disregard for the future. I function off caffeine and nicotine and I don't try to hide it. I go through extended periods where I just don't eat. Maybe I'll snack on this or that. Maybe I will forget. But mostly I just can't afford it. You could understand, or you could think I'm crazy. But you won't like it either way. I have two levels to me, or perhaps two sides. Too loud or too quiet. There is no inbetween. I'm always trying to fill the silence or fall into it. So I can't hide my emotions. Neither can my face. It says it all, no matter how hard I conseal it.