Biology

And that's the thing, I'm a mess. And not a hot mess, a legit mess. I change my clothes at least 2 times a day because I can't even figure out an outfit enough for who I want to be. Who I should be. And I change my mind constantly and have fits of irrational thoughts, like if I am good enough or who will I become? And maybe half the time I'm just in for the trill of the chase. Out to prove to myself that I can get what I want and then after that, well, then what? And I don't have the answers to that because all that running has taken away my breath. And my boyfriend died and I'm easily attatched. But not to you but as who you could be, maybe by chance if you were him. Because I'm still grieving and taking it day by day and I never thought I could ever love again. And maybe it's forced feelings or my raging hormones that are attracting me to everyone and anything. But desires take over and as a species we aren't meant to be alone. So maybe this is all a great deal harder then I thought it was going to be, this whole growing up and living deal.